Mr. Keith's Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves:

People that know me know that I have many weird pet peeves. Some common, some….well, they are very specific to me I suppose.

-People who say “I could care less” instead of “I couldn’t care less”. Dummy, if you COULD care less that means there is still room of not caring left.

-Shopping carts left all over the parking lot. This bothers me on so many levels. First, it proves that we, as people, are lazy and selfish. Once you are done with the cart, you couldn’t care less where you put it. Just leaving it sprawled all over the lot. The winds push them into other cars, scratching them. Second is when I pull in, thinking I got a sweet spot, just to find out at the last second I have to get out of my car to move some lazy bastards fucking cart out of my way just to pull in. Put your fucking cart back where you found it! It’s common courtesy.

-People that leave too much space between them and the car in front of them at a stop light. Yes, I know petty, right? But some people leave enough space to where I can literally parallel park in-between them! And it really ticks me off when it happens when I’m trying to make a right turn into a street and they are blocking it when they have PLENTY of room to move up and let me make my turn.

-Racism. I hate and love people of all races. It’s an individual thing; don’t hate a whole race because of the actions of a few, or your ignorant upbringing.

-People who suck at their jobs. It’s YOUR JOB! You shouldn’t completely suck at it! Have some pride. You are there for 20-40+ hours a week, you should be able to do your job pretty decent by now.

-Undisciplined children. I actually hate the parents more in this case, but c’mon, keep that little fucker in line. You know what would do the trick? I surprise beating from a complete stranger! Just let me pop that little bastard once and they’ll learn.

-The complete butchering of the English language. I admit, I’m not English major, and I do throw out some slang, Ebonics, broken dialog every now and then. But I know some people that continuously destroy the very foundation language were built upon. I even question some of their literacy. How some of these people squeeze past second grade had is beyond me. “I noe dis iz da kewl wae 2 rite, but it maks ma sond lik a idiot”

-Soulja Boy Tell’em.

-People talking about their swag too much. Honestly, when I hear swag, I think “free shit!” So, are you really bragging about your free shit? Oh, and "Pretty Boy Swag"? C'mon. are you serious? Since when was it okay for dudes to call themselves "pretty"?

-Kids bragging about what they have because their parents are wealthy. That’s like a fat chick bragging about how big her tits are. Yeah you have it, but is it really something you should be proud of?

-Guidos. They all look like the same asshole on repeat. Spiked hair, tanned, and buff more than they really need to be. Most of the time, their muscles are for not, because they can’t fight. They usually come from wealthy parents, and are complete douchebags.

-The term "Hardbody"

I'm sure there are many other things too....I guess I'll just update my list when they come to me.