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Monday, April 25, 2011

Meeting the sperm-donor

I know my blogs haven’t really offered up much in the way of entertainment recently, if I blog at all. But trust me, I’m going to get back into my blogging groove soon. Just feel like I’m blogging to my three followers. Not that you three aren’t important, but I just thrive off an audience, which, of course, I lack at the moment.

But, before I get into those blogs, I must get this one off my chest. It’s probably the most personal one I’ve had, so hopefully you can appreciate it for what it is and find some type of enjoyment out of it……

I met my real father today. It was strange. I never thought the day would ever happen, and never really thought about it. Before today, I honestly didn’t care if I ever met the man. I didn’t know a thing about him, and I never thought to ask. I just knew that I was here, and that I was awesome. That’s all I really ever needed to know. I mean, I had my mom. She was a great single mother. She gave me all that I needed. She raised me to be awesome.

When I was younger, there was another man around. After my mom broke up with him, he was still around off and on and still is to this day. He treated me like his son, but never called me it. And I never really called him “dad”. I never thought into it (which seems to be a reoccurring theme to my life). Just thought that’s how it was. He’d hang out with me, and never once did I question his role in my life. That is, until I was in 10th grade when he dropped the “I met you when you were 2” bomb on my lap. When I questioned my mom about it, you can physically see her brain seize up. She sat there with a “deer in the headlights” look. She was caught completely off guard. At that moment, I knew a door was opened that she hoped never was. And she tried to brush it off as “oh he’s just playing with you” type of banter. But I could see through that. But I didn’t care to push any farther. It really didn’t matter to me that much to.

For the next decade or so, we’d joke about it. Mention it in passing with no real conversation attached to it. And when people asked me about my nationality, I just said “I don’t know”. I never met my father to really give that answer straight. It perplexed some on why I didn’t give a shit. Because, in reality, it doesn’t change who I am, and how I was brought up. So, I didn’t have the urgency to investigate.

That all, of course, changed this past Wednesday morning. I get an unusually early call from my mom at 630am. She goes on to tell me that someone wants to meet me when I come up this Sunday. I blow it off thinking she meant the man that has been in my life on and off forever. But then as I was driving to work, the details of the call were finally setting in…..did she really just say? No…..she couldn’t have. Could she? This thought was confirmed when she said it again Friday. Yup, she said it. My father wanted to meet me Sunday. I honestly didn’t feel a thing when she said it. It was out of the blue. Unexpected. Wasn’t prepared for it, but then again, never thought about it either to need to be prepared.

So, Sunday rolls around. I’m still not nervous about this whole ordeal. I guess a part of me was thinking it still wasn’t going to happen. I mean, it’s been so long. Why would he want to see me? What can us meeting offer either of us? But either way….the moment of truth was upon me. He arrived at my moms house. I was still sitting. Still, not nervous. Couldn’t really understand why. I mean, this has to be life-altering, right? The first glimpse of my existence was when I was conjured up in this mans nutsack being ready for deployment. This was the core creator of awesomeness. But, I was still kind of chilling as if he were an old friend of my mom, and nothing more.

In he walks. Tall, thin, and older gentleman. Looked like he’s been a few years deep into retirement. I was told when I was younger that my father could have been Cape Verdian, and seeing that every CV I knew looked black, I kind of expected it. It’s like, yeah, I HEARD he was, but actually confirming it was definitely crazy in a way. But I saw some similar features as I examined him for closure. Eyebrows? Yeah. Nose? No. Head shape? DEFINITELY! This was him. The man who helped bring me to life. Sitting no more than 5 feet from me. It started to seep in. Yeah, this was real.

Of course, I don’t speak much. I never do. But then again, he didn’t seem like a man of many words either. He was polite, and seemed like a really nice guy. His current wife did most of the talking. But from what I gathered in the hour we spent together, I have many similar personality traits. He seemed to rather watch things develop from afar without interference. The whole time, the father I never knew was living less than 12 miles from me. I probably passed him a dozen times on the streets. He disliked phones and rather use the computer such as myself. He was in the military and automotive industry like me. He didn’t give a shit about the little things that didn’t really matter as well. I can see a pattern of personality similarities. I don’t know if they are real, or I was just digging for some type of connection. That, I guess, I will have to find out as this plays out. It was crazy when he was talking about how he kept tabs on me and my where-abouts for most of my childhood. Just observing from the distance… interference. Yeah, I can definitely understand that.

At the end of our meeting, we exchanged information. Whether or not I ever see him again is up in the air. I have a habit of not keeping in touch with anyone. But, this person, I may just give more effort to. Just out of curiosity, if anything.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The explanation of my disgust with sluts......

So, as some of you may have noticed in previous blogs, I have an issue with slutty women. Sometimes it’s out of just comedic reasons, but deep inside, I do dislike sluts. I’ve decided to investigate my reason behind it. Well, I always KNEW my reason, but had to put it to words that others would understand.

Now, I’m not against a fling here and there, or a few one night stands. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an absolute prude! My issue is more focused to the girls that go out of there way to sleep with many different guys. Girls that get desperate and go thru there phone looking for someone to come over, no matter who it is, to satisfy some unquenchable desire to get laid. Girls who thing 3 weeks without sex is a “dry spell”. Girls who, at their rate, are going to (or already have reached) the 100 man mark in partners. To me, that is plain reckless, and you probably don’t have any self respect. Sure, you might put up the front, and try and tell yourself you do, but your actions tell another story.

I know many girls like this. And I’m not saying they are bad people per se. They aren’t. Many of the sluts I know are very kind (too kind?), and giving (well, duh). They just have an issue that makes me somewhat disgusted by them. And here is my explanation why……I’m going to try and put this in the easiest way possible for you to understand.

As some of you may know, I think life is about “energy”. We thrive off it, we live by it, and all that we do is a reflection of energy. Whether it is a good or bad energy, it’s what we live off of. And a part of that energy is power. We all possess a certain power. People respect power. Many go overboard with it, but that’s life, and I’ll blog about that some other time. Okay, I’m getting off track here….let’s reel this back in.

At first meeting, women hold all the power in a relationship, be it an exclusive relationship, or a friendship. It’s this power that makes them have the ability to have men do whatever they want. Buy them things, bring them places, and help them….ect. You cannot deny that women are in complete control at this stage. BUT, as soon as they let the man sleep with them, she then transfers her power to him. Post-sex, men act differently. Sure, they may still be “nice”, but women, you can TELL there is a difference in the way they act. It’s not by accident. They are now in control. They know they have “conquered” you. Women begin developing weakness, letting guys get away with things that they wouldn’t before sex. And the more men women sleep with, the more power they are giving away and the weaker they are. Some women try to help their confidence by saying “well, I’m still getting this or that”….okay, he knows that to he can control you with money….yeah, you’re strong. No, you are still at his command. He just knows how to push your buttons to do what he wants. And once a woman sleeps with a man, for the rest of his life, no matter what the situation is, somewhere in his head, he believes that he can sleep with you. Of course, when it comes to love, that is both partners submitting to splitting power between them. Usually you can tell who’s in love because they show the same respect and affection in public as they do in private. It’s a great thing, and unfortunately not as common as you’d like to think.

I ran this by a couple women, and they tried the retort of “Some women aren’t weak; they just feel that they think they can be closer to a man if they sleep with them”. That logic is RIDICULOUS! Of course it’ll seem that way at first, but really? No shit. But really, is that really a good reason to bang everyone you go to dinner with? How about getting closer by talking? You know, having things in common. I know, that’s too much work.

Then I here the disturbing “Well, we have to be compatible in bed, so that’s why…”. That’s what men call “whore logic” behind your backs. If you’re looking for a companion, you have to know how to communicate with words. You can teach any schmuck to be good in bed. You can’t teach conversation. Besides, sex is only going to consume a tiny percentage of your time together. And if you build your relationship on “bed compatibility”, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You have to concentrate on what you’ll be doing the other 23.5 hours of the day. Once the sex passes that “new relationship” stage, you need something to stand on. Couples with great communication have much better, and longer, relationships that ones that base their relationship off of sexual compatibility.

And besides the whole weak thing, guys are very prideful. And the last thing a dude needs is to walk in the bar with you and have half the males there have been former partners. Once alcohol starts flowing, old flames try things, or say things, and sometimes that is hard to shake off. I’ve hung out with a slutty friend at a bar, and heard, no shit, 3 guys at the bar talking about how they “hit that”. And it was disturbing. They had obvious lack of respect for her. And if that was my woman, I’d be pissed at someone showing that type of disrespect to her. Of course, when she came over, they were ultra nice….like I said before, once smashed, men feel the window is always open, just need the opportunity.

Okay, now you are probably thinking I’m anti-sex. HAHA….. No, by all means, I’m not. Sex is awesome! Just don’t have sex with as many random people as possible. Hold out for someone you KNOW respects you. Make sure they person is someone that isn’t there ONLY for one thing. Shoot, if you must have a booty call, make it someone that you know really respects and cares about you, maybe someone that you get along with, but know you don’t want a long-term thing with. It’s much better than some random person that’s just looking to get a “nut off” after 1am.

I know that in this day in age, the numbers of sluts are running amuck. Sluts are spreading like zombies. In this age of MTV, internet, and so on…..the world looks like it’s turning into a slut breeding ground. Many feel like if you can’t beat them, join them. Eh….maybe that’s just how the world wants it.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Natural Disasters....maybe not so natural

This whole Japan Tsunami event has people starting up their “2012” talk again. Which, as I have explained before, is utter ridiculous and I file it under the “nonsense” category. And if you bring it up, you lose all intellectual integrity in my eyes. For every action, and reaction, of this earth, there lays a perfectly good, scientific, explanation.

First, let me again, and hopefully for the last time, address the 2012 hoax. There is NO WAY this world is going to end that day. Where was it predicted? From the ancient Mayans said it. Yeah, they must be the smartest people ever…… Modern Mayans even have come out to call it bullshit. Okay, the reason behind this was because the Mayan Calendar ends in December of 2012. Did it ever occur to you that maybe they just got tired of writing days and figured they’d continue it when 2012 was within reach? Were they just supposed to keep going forever and ever? Things have to have an end, and that just happened to be the day it ended. There is absolutely no basis for that theory at all, so can we all just collectively agree to never bring it up again? Or, if you really, truly in your heart believe it, give me all your money and possessions in the days leading into it. Stand behind your words, cowards.

Okay, done with that rant. Now on to the point of me even starting this blog, the recent spike in major earthquakes and natural disasters. Many earthquakes are nothing new. We have thousands a year, just not to catastrophic and most go unnoticed. The severity is the biggest concern, and as far as I’m reading, no one has a clue why. So, I’m here to throw my uneducated thoughts into the ring and see how they marinate.


I’m no expert in oil, oil drilling, fossil fuels, or any of the mechanics of the Earth. But I think the professors of Universities and other “smart” people should take a look at the direct correlation between pulling oil out of the ground, and significance of earthquake events. I feel like we may be underestimating the need for the Earth to have much of this oil. The more oil we pull from the ground, the more dried out the Earth has become, therefore having less lubricant for the fault lines, which, in turn, make the shifts more violent. If you really think about it, it kind of makes sense, no? The friction is what is making the magnitude increase, and followed up by the insane amount of violent aftershocks.

As for the severity of hurricanes, that has to do with us killing the Earth’s supply of trees. Trees, believe it or not, have a lot to do with how the atmosphere works. And we are destroying acres upon acres a day. That has long-term affects, but the millionaires of the world are thinking more short-sighted. It’s a shame too. But that goes back to my blog about greed.

How do we fix this? Well, it’s not simple, of course. But what ever happened to us pushing for solar power? We have an abundance of free solar power. Just take a little more money to research, and use natural power. Maybe put up more windmills, or water tread things. Use that kind of power for a little. Let the Earth catch a breather for a minute. The more we pull from the Earth, the more it’s going to reject us……..

Friday, February 25, 2011

Greatest Rapper of All Time......

Hip hop has always had the constant debate over “who’s the best rapper”. I’ve seen some SERIOUS fights and arguments break out over this simple question. Honestly, how do you fight or argue over ones opinion? How do you rate the rapper? Thru lyrics? Record sales? Their impact on hip hop? There is no clear cut way of making the list. Today, I have declared I am no longer holding B.I.G in the “G.O.A.T” (Greatest of All Time) conversation due to his lack of catalog. Just not enough material to throw him up to the top of the list. Many rappers fade out. How would he have done in the long run? He had 3 albums, if you count his double LP as 2. And one group album. Which, is no small feat….but doesn’t do it for me in the long run. Which is tough, because a lot of the rappers I think were superior lyrically died too young. Big L, Big Pun, B.I.G…..wait, maybe it’s having the word “Big” in your name that proves fatal……..

So, although those three are DEFINITELY on the top of my “Favorites to listen to“ list, they do not get my nod for Greatest of All Time award. I feel you must embody all that is involved in Hip Hop. Lyrics, impact, wordplay, it all plays in the list. If it were just lyrics, I’d have guys like Rass Kass and Fabolous popping up….but unfortunately, many of the greatest lyricists go over many people’s heads, and cannot be considered the Greatest…….

Here are my top rappers in no particular order……….

Jay-Z He’s been doing it for 15 years. 11 Number one albums. Considered by many as the greatest since B.I.G. He has had 2 undeniable classics and many other well put together albums. Had a few hits every time he comes out. He has sold out Madison Square Garden, and has headlined the best selling hip-hop tour of all time with “Hard Knock Life Tour”. He can flow any style, has witty metaphors, and catchy lyrics. His ONLY knock against him, is he does borrow, or pay homage, to others lyrics often. But, when he doesn’t do that, his lyrics are just as, if not more quotable.

Eminem The white boy they call Marshall Mathers has been a problem since day one. When he first came out, people labeled him “The best white rapper”, now 12 years later; the “white” part has been dropped. The man is creative, his wordplay is unmatched, and his flow is recognizable as anyone else to ever touch a mic. He’s sold millions upon millions of albums. No other rapper rides a beat as well and throws in so many multiple rhyme schemes as him. Sure, he started off as something of a “shock rapper” like a Chino XL or something, but has developed into a beast. No other rapper wants to battle him in freestyle, and especially on record.

Andre 3000 The man that brought lyrical respect to the South. As one half of Outkast, 3 Stacks has always been considered the better of the duo lyrically. He has a creative mind.

Kanye West Okay, sure he’s an asshole. We all know that already. He’s a fantastic producer, but that aside…..the dude can flat out rap. Get him in the booth, and this dude tears up just about anyone in the game. He shines on every track he shares with other artists, even Jay Z himself. He made “not being a gangster” cool in an ego driven, drug and violence landscape. This guy is the reason guys like Drake, Kid Cudi, and Lupe Fiasco exist. Although, he’s also the reason that bitch ass Jim Jones put out that wack ass “Perfect Day” track that his sings on….I guess he can’t win them all……

L.L. Cool J I know that this entry just made everyone just say “What? He’s buggin’”. And I get that. BUT, c’mon, this dude has been doing it since the beginning of hip hop! He was out when Run DMC were still on top of their game. He’s destroyed careers like Kool Moe Dee and Canibus. He’s had a relevant song on the charts for 3 different decades. He can come out and rip someone on a diss track, just as well as hit off the ladies with something sweet. Sure, he’s more known as an actor now, but that doesn’t eliminate what he’s done.

Nas C’mon, Nasir Jones has blessed us with some GREAT lyrics. He has had two classics, and countless other hits. This man displays a vivid image try and storytelling ability that rivals anyone.

Busta Rhymes Ol’ Busta Buss…..what can be said of this man. He brought you the best verse in one of the greatest posse cuts “Scenario” and has flipped his style from wild to rapid flow without missing a step. He knows how to start a party. Sure, he’s not a great story teller, but he embodies what an emcee does, and that’s bringing the crowd to a point of pure ecstasy. He gets people bouncing, and brings lyrics.

Ludacris This is the real king of the South. He took what Andre 3000 did, and cemented it. Southern rappers are not to be played with. He can do any style, and rap about any topic. He is probably one of the most underrated rappers of all time. But if you take the time to really think about what he’s done, and what he’s spit, you’d respect his hustle…..

Tupac What can be said of this man that hasn’t been said already? Okay, so he’s not the most lyrical. Not by far. But his passion, his story telling, his message makes up for that. This guy could have lead a revolution off his songs alone. He brings a message every time he spits into the microphone. This man, to most, IS hip hop. And many years past his passing, he’s bringing new songs and hits. That’s shows his dedication…….

Ice Cube/ Snoop Dogg This is a complete toss up. One brought you the lyrics of NWA and Amerikkkkas most wanted. The other brought you Doggystyle……it’s tough. They had the greatest contributions to the West being relevant. And they both have had the media legacy and longevity. So, this one is a tough call. If I had a gun to my head, I would choose Ice Cube. He’s more lyrical, and can beast upon the mic. But, you can’t lose either way…….

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Meaning of Life

As some of you know, and many of you don’t, I think about details of life and over analyze things quite often. I like to people-watch (and animal-watch as well). And think about why they are doing what they are doing. And often I wonder about the meaning of our existence. What are we here on Earth for? I know, many have pondered this same question. Some have come up with their own theories. Religious reasons, spiritual reasons, insane reasons, and what have you. I guess I’m just going to toss my own theory into that pile.

Most live their lives focused on two things. To make money and self-fulfillment. Some may argue that the former is only used to fuel the latter. Not completely true. There are many people in the world that have all the money they need, and more than they can ever spend, yet they continue to backstab, lie, neglect and cheat just to get more. So, their goal in life is to have the numbers in their bank account higher than anyone else in their social circle, or the world. They think money gives them power. But money ends up being their weakness because they neglect everything else in life to gain that one thing. They neglect family, friends, enjoyment, and sometimes health. That’s not what life is about. Money can buy you temporary happiness, a window of joy, but unless you have other focuses, you’ll just be miserable again on that never-ending paper-chase.

The self-fulfillment part is a bit tricky to explain. Because, essentially, you should be happy, right? Yes. That is an important part of life. But some get overwhelmed by personal happiness that it has a negative affect on everyone around them. This goes back to my blog on greed. People will lie to make their self happy, even if it hurts someone else. People lie to sleep with someone else. People lie for financial gains. People lie just so they don’t feel guilty about screwing over someone else. But those lies tend to start eating away at you. And then, you’re stuck alone with your thoughts, and alas….unhappy.

Take a look at your basic wild animal. They don’t base their lives off greed. They don’t have money. They don’t possess more than they need. And they’re alive, right? So the meaning of life must apply to them as well, no? It’d be ignorant to think that life revolves solely around human beings. But that’s how we’re programmed to think.

So, in my thoughts, I have realized that life doesn’t have an end-game. Contrary to some people’s beliefs, you cannot “win” at life. The main objective is to enjoy life. Enjoy friends and family. Take in what the Earth has to offer. Gain knowledge so that you can appreciate the things around you. They often say that birth is a miracle and brings the “gift of life”. So treat it as such. It’s a gift. It is nothing more than that. Put aside all the petty bullshit surrounding your daily grind, and reflect on the greatness of it all. Think about all the shit in life that stresses you out. Like, REALLY think about it. Most of it is petty. A few money issues, sprinkle in a little “he said, she said” type crap, or a few nuisances. But in the larger scope of it all, that’s just basic bullshit that shouldn’t bother you. You still have family, friends, and even yourself to really fall back on. And honestly, if you don’t have those three things, you have to look harder at yourself and wonder why.

Me? I hardly ever have a bad week. I might have a bad day or two. But when that happens, I take time to myself and wonder why. And the answers usually become clear. And it all traces back to me. My actions, my lack of actions, and my thoughts. I know what each person in my life thinks about me and why. And if you analyze your life, and relationships within your life, you’d be able to figure it out too.